Over the past couple of weeks, and in light of recent news, I have been thinking a lot about my current position and feel having a little perspective on what matters most to you extremely important when making decisions. Yes, there are things in life that are shit, and it can be easy to focus on the negative. However, when you step back and assess the bigger picture, life has so much to offer. Focusing too much on the negative means we may miss out on those wonderful, positive moments that enable us to find happiness, rather than relying on others to provide that happiness for us.
As I find myself in a state of flux, where I can choose any path I like (having that kind of freedom can be a little daunting), I find myself reflecting on what makes me most happiest. And I think I have figured a little bit of that out. As long as I can continue to do the things I enjoy and am passionate about, being in a job that I am passionate about is just as important to me. Having just enough to enjoy those moments that make me think, “you know what? life is good”. My path is unclear at the moment and sometimes that is not a bad thing. I do worry too much about how my choices effect others, sometimes to the detriment of own happiness. Maybe now is the time to be a little selfish (as long as they don’t hurt those around me). I want to be in a position where I am happy and do what I do with pride.
I have worked hard this past year and the times I was most happiest was when I was in the early years placements, working with preschool children. Supporting and nurturing their development. Unfortunately there aren’t many options in that sector which will offer a good salary and benefits. But then sometimes life is too short to worry about those things and being able to do a job I like, no love, is hard to come by.
Having recently lost someone in my life, who was always so vibrant and passionate and committed to her job (which didn’t offer a whole load of extra benefits), has made me think life is for doing the things you love and living each moment as they come.
I don’t know if how I am feeling now is a reaction to what has recently happened or whether it has triggered something I had been thinking about for a while. Who knows? But one thing is for certain, I have the freedom to take my time and find something that will enrich and nourish my life. I am currently a spinning top which at any moment may topple. Where it falls I have yet to found out.