Over the past couple of weeks, and in light of recent news, I have been thinking a lot about my current position and feel having a little perspective on what matters most to you extremely important when making decisions. Yes, there are things in life that are shit, and it can be easy to focus on the negative. However, when you step back and assess the bigger picture, life has so much to offer. Focusing too much on the negative means we may miss out on those wonderful, positive moments that enable us to find happiness, rather than relying on others to provide that happiness for us.

As I find myself in a state of flux, where I can choose any path I like (having that kind of freedom can be a little daunting), I find myself reflecting on what makes me most happiest. And I think I have figured a little bit of that out. As long as I can continue to do the things I enjoy and am passionate about, being in a job that I am passionate about is just as important to me. Having just enough to enjoy those moments that make me think, “you know what? life is good”. My path is unclear at the moment and sometimes that is not a bad thing. I do worry too much about how my choices effect others, sometimes to the detriment of own happiness. Maybe now is the time to be a little selfish (as long as they don’t hurt those around me). I want to be in a position where I am happy and do what I do with pride.

I have worked hard this past year and the times I was most happiest was when I was in the early years placements, working with preschool children. Supporting and nurturing their development. Unfortunately there aren’t many options in that sector which will offer a good salary and benefits. But then sometimes life is too short to worry about those things and being able to do a job I like, no love, is hard to come by.

Having recently lost someone in my life, who was always so vibrant and passionate and committed to her job (which didn’t offer a whole load of extra benefits), has made me think life is for doing the things you love and living each moment as they come.

I don’t know if how I am feeling now is a reaction to what has recently happened or whether it has triggered something I had been thinking about for a while. Who knows? But one thing is for certain, I have the freedom to take my time and find something that will enrich and nourish my life. I am currently a spinning top which at any moment may topple. Where it falls I have yet to found out.


Letting go

As I make my way through the maze of unemployment, and try to plant my feet into something concrete, I need to start letting go of my fears. My fears of failing, not finding a job, being left behind from my peers.

This is what will hold me back from being able to experience the good things in my life. Being open to new experiences and not being stubborn in my choices means I can allow unexpected opportunities to come my way.

Being fixed on one path, and not letting go of those negative gripes can you hold back. And I’m in no position to be closed minded. I want to try and be open to all possibilities; not limiting myself to one choice.

As we come to the end of another week, I feel it is important to keep facing challenges head on and letting go of negative feelings that may arise. Today, I certainly had to experience the painful task of letting go. Physically and mentally to the fact that I am not in a position to have the things I want. However, as I walked home, I reflected on the option of ‘did it really matter whether I got that particular item I had been waiting so long for, or not, and has it really effected me that much where all I can do is think about not having it?’ And in truth, no it didn’t matter. I can wait a little longer until the right time. One materialistic item is not going to make my life any richer or meaningful.

My intention for the coming week is to not put weight on materialism. But to try and appreciate all the wonderful things that are not always so tangible. I think it is all too easy to get bogged down in the physical, materialistic aspects of life to try and find meaning. Ultimately, there is much more to value and cherish when you begin to look wider and further a field.

So! I leave you here with an image from the weekend, celebrating Brighton Pride, where just experiencing life and being in the moment can bring you so much joy!

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